Look Ma, NO HANDS - Album Review
LOOK MA, NO HANDS
An Album Review by C. Tuel
Written for Dual Muse Magazine
Appx. 10 min read
And with anything Joey Valence and Brae related, I begin by asking myself “How long will it take me to want to go to the gym.” Already keenly aware that the album will be high energy based upon their latest singles released for it, and excitement is within me as I know I am in for a ride. I write this, at 3:30 in the morning, with access to a 24-hour gym. I think it to be quite a bit humorous.
Immediately with BUSS IT, you’re in Skate 3. If you know, you absolutely know. The Wu-Tang fan in me almost expects to hear a “Good Morning Vietnam” as a sample in the beginning. There’s never a way to describe the cadence of a JVB song. You just have to listen and feel it. It goes from heavy-hearted beats to a light synth, an almost vaporwave. It will never stop your feet.
BUSS IT leads into PACKAPUNCH, featuring Danny Brown. It’s an almost anxiety-inducing background sample - lending credence to its title. “No, I won’t be blunt - JVB do whatever we want” seems like the most fitting lyric of the album. Not one of the more popular singles of the album release, and also not one of my personal favorites as of this moment. I must admit I love the way Danny Brown’s feature is introduced - an announcement over the boxing ring.
And then begins NO HANDS, featuring Z-Trip. A stark contrast from its last track, a smooth jazz with a delightful record scratch as Joey proudly proclaims his love for Shirley temples, and his pride in acing sex-ed. A more than fun song, “Living life with no hands, look mama no hands”. You feel the breeze in your hair here riding down the city streets on a too-expensive rental scooter.
LIKE A PUNK got up and made me clean my kitchen. We can just start there - the thing about this band is it always makes me want to do something. It tackles the ADHD in my brain. There is no professional way to explain that last sentence, however, that’s how we’re doing it today. There is a break about halfway through the song where… “ it’s time to rave.” (Alt: it’s time for Brae?) And I want to start vogueing. It feels almost like it belongs on RPDR. It’s incredible. Ending with a laugh, almost a cackle, we get prepared for a familiar tune.
WHERE U FROM was already released to us as a single, and in the weeks leading up to the release of NO HANDS, had surpassed 1.1 Million streams on Spotify. It feels like a perfect transition from LIKE A PUNK to a softer but still phenomenal song. It feels like a traditional JVB song, at least lyrically. It’s reminiscent of originality and true inspirations from generations past that I can place - not dissimilarly to the way I feel about Heart Attack Man. Not to be taken negatively, I am thrown out the window by the lyric choice of “I guess I don’t care-uh… I feel like Michael Cera in his swag era.” And that’s about where my computer dies and I start wishing that I could have Spotify for the switch, but whatever, I still feel like Michael Cera in his Swag Era.
I pick up on INTERMISSION 2 while getting tattooed. Immediately taken back to my college jazz class. At least before the light jam session interlude provided to us. It’s something I love. A fun and quick rap with a declaration of hatred for Excel right before being thrown into THE BADDEST.
THE BADDEST serves as an additional level of familiarity for me, especially because I burned that single innumerable amount. As of that point, it serves as my favorite and a recurring tune from my gym playlist. Beginning with “Do you think anybody is actually going to dance to this?” I can assure them that the answer is a resounding yes. It does make you want to throw your hands up and hear it during, before, and after your Saturday night pre-game. If that’s your thing. If it’s not? You’re jamming in your room until the “You ain’t fancy son - Squilliam.” laughing, then back to jamming.
Leaving you into OK, a softer tune that reminds me of a classic MTV moment. Not currently a favorite execution of such, but I’m hoping and almost expecting that it serves as a transitional track before the Terror Reid feature, something I was so excited to have released. OK ends with a diss, a further repetition of the chorus, and a “Check this out” before the awaited DOUGHBOY begins.
“And now for something completely different.” Phenomenal. There are truly few ways to describe how well this beat hits. How it just scratches that itch. There’s always an appreciation for a good double entendre with an iHop reference after a Spongebob reference. Terror Reid fits into the beat so naturally, it truly feels like a joint effort - a genuine collaborative effort despite it being clear he wrote his own verse. And with a Frozone line, THE BADDEST has been usurped as my favorite. Transitionally, the end of DOUGHBOY feels like a bioshock infinite original soundtrack, a quick 1920s transport. As someone with the s
It feels nearly perfect to lead you into WHAT U NEED, where Joey proclaims how he’s “Fly like Baby Keem” - the repeated adoration with a heartfelt shout-out. Joey Valence and Brae always manage to include the things they love. The backing track almost feels like a light European house club mix, but still something I’d hear as someone struts the runway. The light vocal pitch carries you from start to finish - “what you want or what you need”. (lyrics not yet available).
Almost abruptly, the same vocal pitch from WHAT U NEED carries you into JOHN CENA. Another fun club track, but it still carries the original elements that the album began with, showing that consistency, despite it not being a concept record. “You are not ready”, the announcer proclaims. Picking up on a Hunter x Hunter sample, it is almost mandatory to be appreciative of such a fun and clean use of a weird sound. It’s new, it’s exciting, it’s something that they put in their own words best - “Like Han Solo, I don’t miss”.
The last few seconds do nothing to prepare you for OMNITRIX. It’s soft, jazzy, delightful to the ear and without a second to spare Brae has a yell for you… “JVB Sucka!” It’s something that feels like an album closer, but the criticism lies in I feel it lacks independence - it plays best with the record. This isn’t to say I wouldn’t stream it as a standalone - I would. If only to hear the anti-drug message that lies within it and the reference to prior lyrics. Speaking on a lack of “traditional masculinity”, Brae raps how he’s “Comfy with myself, I’m a macho-male” leading straight into a rip on Tahoe drivers. I love it. Joey Valence and Brae let the track fade out into almost a beachy, jazzy tune, and you’re left to reflect as the needle keeps spinning.
Joey Valence and Brae feel like the 90’s. they feel like the better part of what’s been missing from the scene for years. All the lyrics are fun, but sometimes they get ridiculous. The beat is always amazing. You’re always ready to get up no matter what time it is. Quite obviously. Yet another incredible release, pulling from varying influences and personal favorites, and something that will remain in my personal favorites.